


Shake it Out (Ceremonials, Part Two)

by GirlInterrupted36



Series: Ceremonials [2]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Absent Parents, Bernadetta von Varley Has Anxiety, Bernadetta von Varley Needs a Hug, Childhood Trauma, Dorothea the therapist, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fishing, Fluff, Pining, Yuris Leclair | Yuri Leclerc Backstory, forgotten friends, secret assassin, slight AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:08:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27928045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GirlInterrupted36/pseuds/GirlInterrupted36
Summary: In Part Two of the series, Yuri debates how to approach Bernadetta and tell her everything that has gone unsaid since they were younger. An eventual maybe love story!
Relationships: Yuris Leclair | Yuri Leclerc/Bernadetta von Varley
Series: Ceremonials [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1900279
Kudos: 4





	Shake it Out (Ceremonials, Part Two)

Yuri

I sat on the edge of the dock, staring at the ripples in the water and wondering about the existence of the golden fish. The fishing master would always mention when a rare fish might appear, and though I had never actually seen the golden one, I did covet what I would receive for its sparkle at the marketplace. Plus, staring into the water was a welcome distraction from what I was really stuck on.

Bernadetta. Goddess. I had made so many mistakes with her when we were younger. So many mistakes in general. I’d been a different person then.

“You’re out late, Yurikins.” Dorothea flicked her long brown hair over her shoulder in a sensual manner as she settled in beside me at the edge of the dock. Removing her shoes, she dangled her feet into the water.

Dorothea was definitely beautiful, especially by the way she shined by the light of the moon. But it was not Dorothea I was interested in. “Looking for fish,” I replied noncommittally. If I refused to look at her, maybe she wouldn’t get the wrong idea. “I could sell that golden fish and get many an arrow for my bow.”

Her laugh tinkled across the quiet. “You lack a pole.”

I looked at my hands and shrugged. “I never claimed to be good at it.” That was a lie. I was actually an excellent fisherman.

We sat side by side in silence and watched as the occasional fish broke the surface, though none with the glittering golden scales. After a while, Dorothea crossed her left leg over her right and turned to look at me sidelong. “You seem down, Yurikins.”

“I’m without my priceless magic fish. Wouldn’t you be down?”

She nudged me in the shoulder with her fist. “You know what I mean.”

I chanced a look at her as I fiddled with the dagger at my belt before taking it out to twirl through my fingers. “Doro, have you ever done something really awful to someone? Like, really really horrid?”

Her brow creased as she stared out across the pond. “I guess I’ve done some things I wouldn’t say I’m proud of.”

“Have you ever hurt a friend?”

“Yes,” she replied without hesitation. “Friend. Lover. Not intentionally? I just didn’t think. Sometimes that happens. More often in love than not, I suppose.”

“There’s this girl—“ I began.

Dorothea cut me off with her laughter. “Of course, there is always a girl.”

“None like her.”

“Do I…know this girl?”

I was glad for the slight darkness to color the blush I felt, well aware of the teasing it would draw my way if Dorothea made it out. “Perhaps.”

“Is it….Constance?” I could tell by her tone that she was holding back a giggle.

Clearly I spent too much time walking around the monastery with Constance. “It is _not_ Constance. We’re just friends.”

“With benefits,” she tittered.

“NO! Just forget it.” I stood up and turned away towards the light of the greenhouse.

“You’re serious about this girl aren’t you?” The wood of the dock creaked as she stood up behind me.

“When we were younger,” I murmured quietly, “I did something terrible. I always regretted it, more than words can say, but I didn’t get a chance to apologize. And I never thought I would see her again. But then I did, when she came here for school.”

“And did you tell her? That you’re sorry?”

I turned back to face Dorothea and caught the gentle expression that had settled on her face. “I believe she’s afraid of me now. Whenever I approach her, she runs and hides and refuses to talk to me.”

Dorothea thought for a moment and then said, “Maybe you could write her a letter. To tell her the way you feel.”

As a kid, Bernadetta had always carried around a notebook. She’d never shared her writing with me, but she was always doing it. She had said that it was a way to create worlds that she could never experience, and a way to process feelings. But she was definitely appreciative of words. Would she think a letter was dumb? “Would she think that was dumb though?” I echoed my thoughts out loud.

Dorothea turned to the water. “Tell you what. If the next fish that surfaces is your special magic fish of gold, then you write your letter. I can even help.”

I turned too, and just as I began to accept that no fish was coming, one broke the surface. Golden scales flashed in the moonlight before the fish crashed back into the water. “Okay then.”

Clapping with obvious glee, Dorothea said, “Yes, yes, yes!” She took me by the wrist and led me back towards the dormitories. “You get to write your letter, Yurikins!”

“I do indeed.”

We arrived outside my room. “I could…help? If you’d like.”

I shook my head. “No, I have to do this on my own.” When her face fell, I added, “But you’ve been such a big help already, Doro. I really owe you one.”

“I’ll take you up on that someday.” She winked and then disappeared into the night.

I let myself into my room and sat down with a paper and a pen.

_Dear Bernadetta,_

_Since you refuse to see me or even really acknowledge my existence, I thought that I would write you a letter. Perhaps it could be a series of letters, somewhat like you always writing in those notebooks of yours. I know that you know what I did. And I am…Listen, Bernie. Can I call you that? Like I did when we were kids? I would blame what I did on my upbringing, or rather, lack thereof, but it would just be an excuse. I was sent to work for House Varley to murder you because of how sneaky and precocious I was then._ _Okay, still am, which you would know, if you’d just talk to me…_ _I made the perfect child assassin. But, Bernie, I liked you. I liked getting to know the you that no one else got to see, the you that wore pants and took off those dumb lace gloves and didn’t care if she got mud on her face or forgot to hold her pinkie away from the teacup. I liked in the library surrounded by books Bernie so much more than the one who never wanted to be a princess._

_Honestly, Bernie, if we’re being real, you were the first person I ever wanted to be a real friend to. Even though things between us started with a false pretense, they evolved into something real and natural and wonderful. I felt things for you I had never felt for anyone. That day in your room as I stared down at you while you slept, the knife I had brought to kill you still solidly sheathed in my belt, I realized that you believed me to be something more—and that in that belief I could perhaps actually become that._ _Good Goddess, boy, that is cheesy._ _When I was taken away by your father and told I could never see you again, I shut that part of myself down._

_Coming here to school and seeing you again has begun to stir that part of me back awake. I want to be more open again, let myself care about people without ulterior motives. Let myself make friends again, for real. I would like to start with you, Bernie, if you’ll have me. Please at least talk to me. If this sounds amicable to you, meet me in the Goddess Tower tomorrow at sunset. We don’t have to talk at all if you don’t want to; we can simply enjoy the view._

_Yours, Yuri_


End file.
